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In the given case, you have been following me for some time now then you know I was previously married. If not, then you just found out. Either way, I want to share how I gained the strength to leave the toxic marriage I was in. In 2016, I found myself reading through endless stories, articles, and research on leaving a toxic marriage or relationship. As a result, I decided to share my story for those of you who are or were in a similar situation.
In all honesty, leaving this toxic marriage was a draining and exhausting experience. To say the least, I was the one who decided to end the marriage. As you can imagine, he wasn’t ready to let go. All things considered, when is someone ready to let go of being an abuser? In my opinion, those individuals are never ready to change as they see themselves as innocent. The problem is us not them.
How I Found the Strength to Leave
- Fear. I had fear of being alone, not finding someone, and starting over again. At one point I decided fear was not going to decide life for me. That as a matter of fact, I was going to conquer fear and live a life in which I could be happy. A life in which I could go places without feeling the urgency to head back home. Most importantly, I was going to stop being afraid of what could be.
- Self-Love. Without a doubt, finding self-love is hard in a toxic marriage. Yet, it’s an essential to finding the strength to leave. I had to learn to believe in myself! In all honesty, it was HARD. It took months to believe I could be on my own, be loved, and be happy after leaving the marriage. Finding self-love is a constant battle with yourself that is worth fighting for.
- Exhausted. I’m ashamed to admit how long it took me to see I was in a toxic marriage. It all started in the summer of 2012 with prominent signs of a manipulative person. Yet, I was blinded by who knows what! In the beginning of 2016, I decided I had to think of myself because I was exhausted of living a life with constant threats, arguments, and abuse. I ended up finding the strength to leave the marriage in the summer of 2017.
Without a doubt, finding the strength to leave was hard with such a manipulative husband. At the time, there was constant emotional and physical threats that needed to be overcome. Threats that made it difficult to find the self-love I needed to step out the door. Needless to say, finding the strength to leave was not easy. Yet, it was one of the best decisions I’ve made as an adult.
Images from: Delicious Chicken Salad For International Picnic Day